The Psychopath Checklist
Friends keep you from being a psychopath. Best Friends share the same retardation.
Psychopaths have faulty connections between the part of the brain dealing with emotions and that which handles impulses and decision-making, scientists have found. Indeed in Malta we are over crowded with people who act on impulse and have no decision making skills. Have you got these essential skills to be a psychopath?
Tick which of these apply to you, your girlfriend, your wife or your best buddy…
- Grandiose sense of self-worth
- Failure to accept responsibility for own actions
- Pathological lying
- Lack of realistic long term goals
- Need for stimulation / proneness to boredom
- Cunning and manipulative
- Callous lack of empathy
- Promiscuous sexual behavior
- Lack of remorse or guilt
- Glibness or superficial charm
- Shallow affect (superficial range or depth of feelings)
- Early behavior problems
- Parasitic lifestyle
- Many short term relationships
- Juvenile delinquency
- Revocation of conditional release (e.g. probation)
- Poor behavioral controls
- Criminal versatility
TIMING IS KEY
If you scored more than 15 out of 20, than you or your specimen are seriously on the way for professional psychopath-ism, if so, don’t worry! We from Men in Malta have the cure for this disease that has overtook most of the Maltese population lately, especially political party members. We thus introduce our new medication for such symptoms in the form of a chocolate, it will over-ride all psychopath emotions into a crying baby sensation. Hell would presumably seem as a nice place to be in during this long heart pumping treatment.
Warning: If you are not a psychopath and you digest this chocolate, you might unleash an unknown psychopath within you. You have been warned!